Saturday, March 26, 2016

Whisper Out Loud: Judgment Within the Church

Whisper Out Loud: Judgment Within the Church: I had to tackle this ongoing issue that I see happening more as I've gotten older and became aware of who and what is real and fake...

Judgment Within the Church

I had to tackle this ongoing issue that I see happening more as I've gotten older and became aware of who and what is real and fake. We all have dealt with our share of fake people, condemning people, people who would judge you before you even open your mouth and get to know you and your whole story. We've dealt with them in our own way. Sometimes we would escape the voices and go to church. Going to church people look for a place for clarity, to hear from God, to seek refuge, to get caught up in the praise and worship, etc, but instead they are received with condemning eyes and judgmental whispers. Before I dwell into this blog understand that I am not bashing the church. Although some people would probably think that I am... but oh well, take it or move on.

Lately I've noticed people who come to church sometimes for a visit they are sometimes attack by some church people. People who go to church faithfully and have developed a relationship with God tend to forget that they too were and still are sinners. They tend to forget that they were once in the world and can remember freshly how it feels to be condemned by others, especially people in the church. People in the church are the most condemning, judgmental people in this world, especially to those who are "their kind". Their kind are the other church people. As soon as someone in the church messes up and confess their wrongdoings, other church people are quick to cut their tongue at them. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! For example, recently Israel Houghton, a Grammy Award winning gospel artist has recently came out and told the world that he and his wife of 20 years had divorced due to his infidelity. They tried to work on their marriage for years but had decided to divorced. Well, the church went crazy. Some people took it so far as to condemn this man to hell and throwing away his albums, and never supporting him again. This is what the world saw the church folk did to  "their own kind". He admitted that he was wrong, confessed and asked for forgiveness to his wife and God. We know that he received forgiveness from God and probably his wife but now the church world is tearing him apart. He can't even date his new girlfriend Adrienne Bailon without the church people talking. And now to hear that he took a personal sabbatical from being the lead Praise and Worship singer at Lakewood Church whose pastor is Joel Olsteen, has gone too far. There were rumors stating that Olsteen had fired him but Israel had "cleared" the rumor. But, I honestly wonder if it was a cover-up for the megachurch itself.

Church people had also attacked Kirk Franklin because he was in the studio with Kanye West. Aren't we suppose to reach the world?! Aren't we suppose to go outside the four walls of the church and spread the gospel?! But then again people in the world are seeing everything that these "church people" are doing to their kind and has refused to come to church. So the church is now coming to them. Didn't Jesus come to heal the sick and save those who are lost? As I recall Jesus ate with sinners and thieves! And as I recalled it was the Pharisees', who condemned Jesus for doing those things. WOW! the church is just full of Pharisees' today. Yup that's exactly what they are.

Now the same people who condemn and past judgment on not only him but non public figures will be in church on Sunday, raising their hands and praising God as if they are any better. Then you have some church folk who will past judgment on people who don't want to come to church. Well, why do you think that's the cause. It's because no one wants to go to a place where they don't feel welcome to be received with the looks and whispers of those church people. I've seen it first hand at my own church and other churches I've gone to. I've seen women come into the church with regular street clothes on or a guy come into the church with sweatpants or whatever and people are looking and whispering to the person they are standing or sitting next to talking about how this person's clothes are too tight or how their clothes doesn't match. What if that is the only thing in their closet? What if that person is homeless and what they had on is the only thing have or what if that person was on the verge of committing suicide but at the last minute drive to the church instead? People are so quick to judge without knowing the whole story.

It is becoming so bad right now. No, there is no such thing as a perfect church or perfect people. Everyone is far from being perfect, including people in the church. So I say this in closing, don't let the people in the church push you away from the church. There are good church people in this world, I'm one of them and can sympathize with many. Don't allow those "holier than thou" condemning, judgmental church people push you away from hearing from God. They aren't worth it because they have skeletons in their closet like, alcoholism, lust, porn addicts, adultery, undercover homosexuals, and the list goes on. I know it's hard to ignore the stares and the voices. I get it too when I go to church sometimes, but simply put on a smile ( or a sly smirk), hold your head up and lift your hands and develop your relationship with God. And as for you condemning judgmental brass church folk, just shut your mouths because your day of judgment is coming.....REAL SOON...REAL TALK.

Friday, March 11, 2016

Whisper Out Loud: Men vs. Women: Dress Code

Whisper Out Loud: Men vs. Women: Dress Code: In the next couple of weeks I will be writing about Men vs. Women in different areas. In this post I am looking at the dress code between...

Men vs. Women: Dress Code

In the next couple of weeks I will be writing about Men vs. Women in different areas. In this post I am looking at the dress code between the two sexes and next week I will tap into Men vs. Women in the workplace. Which sex do you think is superior? Or Equal maybe?

And the battle begins.

We have been battling this issue since the beginning of time. The dress code between men vs. women. Some may not see the issue that other women see when it comes to dress code. There was a time when women had to cover their bodies and wear long dresses and skirts, and blouses buttoned up to the top of the neck. If the skirt went above the calf it was frowned upon and God forbid if a woman wore pants it was disgraceful. The men always wore dress pants and and played in shorts. And if the weather gets too hot, the men could take off their shirts and walk outside in their t-shirts. But times has changed for both men and women but women are pushing the envelope even further.

Today, women can wear shorts, t-shirts, tank tops and V-neck shirts that doesn't require a bra to be worn. Men can continue to wear the same dress pants, shorts but now have jeans, be it skinny or baggy, joggers, or sweatpants. Much hasn't changed for men. They can walk outside freely baring their naked chest with just shorts or sweatpants on. But a women aren't allowed to do so. Well, why exactly is that? Why can't a woman walk down the street with just pants on baring her chest freely? It's because the breasts are seen as sexual pleasures. But there are women who wear booty cut shorts to the mall, where you can see a hint of the curve of her butt. That's pushing the envelope too.

Because of this men want their women to dress modestly; sexy but classy. Some men don't want their women to cover up their entire bodies as if it was the 50's all over again but want them to leave some to the imagination. Growing up women were told and taught how to dress. Some mothers would tell their daughters that if they dress provocative then they are asking for trouble. But how does a woman ask for trouble? If a woman want to wear short shorts and a tank top in the summer, its her right. If a woman want to wear leggings that accentuate the curves in her legs with a low cut cowl neck sweater in the winter, its her right. She's not asking for trouble. Being comfortable is what some women go for.

Now, it's a stretch for a woman to walk down the street topless. It isn't decent for a woman to just casually walk down the street topless. But there are numerous states that allow women to walk down the street topless if they want to. And New York is one of them? (But are we really surprised by that.) And they can't get arrested because they are protected by the laws. But it will turn heads.
The green colored states are those where top freedom is in effect.
The orange colored ones have amibiguous state laws on the matter.
The red colored ones are the ones where the mere showing of the female breast in public is illegal according to state law.

One interesting debate that I came across recently is women who are against their men wearing sweatpants and basketball shorts because they find it disrespectful. They don't want other women looking at their men's curve of the bulge. Just like what a woman wears, no matter what a man has on, women (married or not) are going to look toward the private area to see if they can get a glimpse of the bulge or curve. I wonder if the women who complain about their men revealing clothes, wear clothes that show a glimpse of their "curves" that was required for them to cover up decades ago by their counterparts? I'm quite sure they wear tank tops that hug their breasts or reveal a side boob, shorts that reveal their smooth, shaved legs, thighs and a cup butt. Or a dress that either hug their curves and reveal an ample amount of cleavage, even a hint or cleavage. Seemingly, this is one of the complaints women have concerning men's attire. There are others like sagging, or wearing jeans at the wrong occasion. But no matter how you cut it the men will always prevail in the dress code.

Women have a stronger sex appeal than men and catches the eyes of many. Women will continue to push the mark until they leave little to no imagination while going through their everyday life. Women have more more to cover up than a man. Sure he just have to be concerned about that "curve" if it bothers his woman but women still have to be more mindful of more than one body part. No matter how much women try to push the mark toward the goal in mind to be equal in the dress code with men, we will never make it. Our bodies are just too powerful for any man to handle which is why we have no other choice to lose this battle and to cover up those vital parts.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Whisper Out Loud: Generation of wimpy kids!

Whisper Out Loud: Generation of wimpy kids!: Gone are the days when our parents let us play outside all day and come inside when the street lights came on. The adult generations from th...

Generation of wimpy kids!

Gone are the days when our parents let us play outside all day and come inside when the street lights came on. The adult generations from the early 90's, 80's, 70's and 60's knew how to play hard, have fun and survive while playing hard and having fun. At the playground we had tons of fun and survived falling on the wood chipped ground. We brushed off our knees and elbows and kept running. We had fun sliding down the steel sliding board and survived from being burnt on the back of our legs because the sun heated the sliding board just enough to roast us. Some of us turned that fun time into a game. We would see who can take the heat by sliding down the oven baked slide. The champions mastered the way to go down the slide without getting burnt. We also had fun on the merry-go-round and learned how to survive by having someone spin it so fast and we had to hold on for dear life or risk being flung off by the force or if you stayed on you had to wait until the dizzy spell went away, That was fun. And there was the see-saws. Going up and down faster and faster with your friend on the opposite side but that friend would sometimes turn into a fast enemy when they decide to hop off when they were down causing you to crash to the ground. Then we would chase them toward the monkey bars. And we would swing and climb to the top. Once at the top, we would carefully stand up feeling like the champion of the playground. And then the survival of climbing back to the ground having a tight grip on the steel bars. Sometimes we slipped and sometimes we fell. But we had fun . And don't cry because we heard the chant of "Cry Baby, Cry, Cry Baby, Cry." The teasing was relentless but we developed a tough skin. In the mist of being teased by other friends or family we learned how to "hike" and participated in the hiking using the Yo, momma so fat......, Yo, momma so dumb...... or You're so short......". We would go back and forth with the other person putting them down and humiliating them in front of their friends as they would do the same with us.

We would walk to the candy stores. That was our corner store. And the candy store actually sold candy. We would load up on the junk food. We had the stash of 25 cents juices, 50 cents C&C sodas, 25 cents potato chips, cookies, ice cream that came with a small wooden spoon.

At home we watched real cartoons such as Looney Tunes. We enjoyed watching Elmer Fudge hunt rabbits and ducks, giving bombs as gifts and watched it explode in the person's face. Oh and when they were chasing each other toward the edge of a cliff, one cartoon character would stop at the very edge as the other cartoon character kept running only to realize that they are now standing on air, then they drop to the 50 feet to the ground below. That always happened with Coyote and the Roadrunner. That gave us such laughs. And we watched Scooby Doo solve the mysteries while Shaggy and Scooby always had the munchies. (You do realize that Shaggy was always high on the herb, right?)

Even school was fun. We had recess, we played games, we had gym and played dodge ball using a hard ball! And guess what everybody wasn't a winner. We had LOSERS!!!! We learned and understood that you will lose in life. And you will have people calling you a loser. And we actually was learning in the classroom. We learned things that made sense. We knew how to solve math problems using the basic operations that we need to use and still use in our adult life. We had enough homework to still be able to go outside and be a kid.


We, the strongest to survive generations of the early 90's, 80's, 70's and 60's made our kids too sensitive, bratty, spoiled and dumb to life. Everything that made us resilient has been taken away. The playground now have a foam like ground because the kids can fall and get hurt or the ground covered sticks can cut them or poke them in the eye. See there, we created softies! The steel sliding boards are gone and has been replaced with plastic because the kids can suffer burns. See there, we created Wimps! The merry-go-rounds, see saws and monkey bars are gone because too many kids were getting hurt. Either they got knocked in the head, experience back pains and the monkey bars injuries was too numerous. The candy stores are now dollar stores that aren't walking distance. And now the kids can't have the artificial coloring of this and that and Red Dye # 4's and 2's. We didn't care about that stuff nor did our parents but these kids have the most allergies and have gluten issues. WHAT THE HECK IS A GLUTEN!? Cheerios is now gluten free and they made such a big deal about it that they had to make a gluten free Cheerios commercial.  The cartoons were too violent for the kids. And School....! They give so much homework it would take the kids hours to complete. They don't have time for themselves!

We've turned our kids into overly sensitive robots like us. Kids today can't break a nail without them crying for mommy and daddy to rescue them. Now what I'm about to say......just take it or toss it out......we've been bullied and we've done the bullying as well. The laws tightened up on bullying in schools because the suicide rates had doubled due to bullying. Now I am against bullying. I do not condone it. I've been on both sides of the fence. When I was bullied, I sucked it up and told my parents. I ignored them, it worked for some. But there was a few who had to be put in their place. My son was in the 5th grade a couple of years ago, new school, new kid and it was his first time dealing with a bully situation. He told me what happened. Me and his stepdad would go to the school about once a week because of the bullying. It was always something that the kid said or did. Then one day, we told him how we handled the situations back in the day. Well, let's just say, he didn't have anymore issues with the boy. I'm not saying that kids should fight situations out but we knew how to handle most situations when it came about. Even if we had to get our big sister, brother or cousins involved.

Have you noticed that Game Stop took the place of Toys R Us? While we were outside getting dirty and playing with our new toys, our kids are glued to the new game system or cell phones. They would feel as if they would die if they go an hour without their phones. (Just like us) We have taught our kids how not to be a kid. We taught them how not to have fun. When I think of my childhood I think of fun. I asked a 7th grader what do they think of their childhood so far and they said, "It's Okay." IT'S OKAY! What happened to fun! What happened to taking our kids to Chunk E Cheese, skating, the zoo, county fairs, and parks on the weekend so they can go back to school on Monday to brag about their weekend. We need to let these kids live and allow them to be kids and enjoy their childhood. As a young girl and I'm sure my other fellow females can relate to this, back in the 80's and early 90's I played with my Barbie dolls, Cabbage Patch Kids, Strawberry Shortcake dolls that actually smelt like strawberries, Easy Bake Ovens and had sleepovers with pillow fights. Today, the girls are into hair, make-up, fashion and gaining the most followers on social media. The young boys back in the day was into He-Man, Thundercats, Nintendo, Power Rangers and stayed at the basketball courts determined to be the next Michael Jordan. Today the boys are mainly into PS4's and XBOXs. The problem is, that's all that their playing. They can't unplug.

Great minds developed in the 60's through early 90's because we used our imagination. We were outside having fun, being a kid, figuring out life. It's a sad time for these kids. The parks are empty, toy stores are becoming extinct, the ice cream trucks don't drive down the street 3 times a day or at it's usual 4:30 time, Chuck E Cheese's are disappearing, dolls and action figures are flying off the shelves. Two of the largest toy stores in New York closed months ago. FAO Schwarz closed on July 15th 2015 and the Toys R Us in Times Square closed on December 31st 2015. And in its place a Gap and Old Navy Flagship will open. There's that fashion.

Bottom line our kids have 3 years of being a baby, 10 years to enjoy being a kid from ages 4-13. Then they have 4 years being a teenager and to decide what they want to do in life, if college is or isn't for them. Then they have 40 years to be an adult and be a part of the real world before they retire. We need to let these kids live, and let them experience all the wonderful craziness we experienced that turned us into successful adults. Like us when we were younger, they have to learn how to earn and work for things and don't expect things to be given to them. They need to lose and know how it feels so they can be prepared to lose in life sometimes. No! They aren't winners all the time. We have to stop coddling these kids and let them experience LIFE. These kids are soft wimps...coming from adults like us that grabbed life by the throat and took charge. So here's the deal, let's place these kids in front of the TV, sitting on the floor with a bowl of sugar frosted cereal watching a DVD Looney Toons cartoon, take them to the park which is a "safety", then let them get sugared up with junk food, eat hot dogs and hamburgers form McDonalds or Burger King, and stay outside until the street lights come on. It's time for them to LIVE!