Accountability Partners: Circle of Safety
If you were to look at all of your friends and followers on all of your social networks, could you really count on them? How many of those people do you talk to everyday, fine, DMs count. Not all of them right? Ok, lets narrower this down even more. How many of those people in your DMs or on all of your social networks do you have in your phone contacts? Now let's look a little deeper, how many of those people in your phone contact do you talk to almost everyday? Your list got smaller, I know it did. Now, the people that you talk to almost everyday, do you hang out with them a couple of times a month or a week? Those that you hang out with and you have your girl talks or just hanging out with the boys, you realize that they are your friends. Your real friends that you can call, talk, text hang out with. Now which of your friends can you consider having as accountability partners?
What are accountability partners?
Before defining an accountability partner, you must first understand that the word accountability means to be responsible and liable for your own actions. An accountability partner is someone who helps another person keep a commitment. I got to tell you, I need accountability partners for some things in my life, such as staying on my workout regime, giving up coffee for Lent (I am a coffee addict), productivity in my career, or not giving into some urges that I would regret later. For me I have a 8 friends, 5 of them are my close friends, and out of those 5, three of them are my accountability partners. (I also have 2 people from my church as an accountability mentors for my Spiritual and mental growth, which is a total of 5 for me.) It's good to have between one to three accountability partners. I'll explain why as we go further along.
Your accountability partners should be someone who takes time to listen to you and give you wise information for your next step or your present situation or crises. You don't have to talk to them everyday about your situation but whenever you need some advice, motivation or encouragement, they are the ones you should be able to reach out to. Whoever you talk to, you must be able to trust them. You shouldn't have to worry about your situation being discussed when everybody go out, or them making small talk with one of their friends. You have to establish your circle of trust.
Having an accountability partner is also letting go of your pride and telling them that you need them. Pride will hold you back from becoming the person that you are designed to be. Pride will have you stay closed in and attempt to handle and solve things on your own, with your own power. I've done that before and trust me, it doesn't work. I've tried to figure situations out and solve them on my own only to get hurt and mess up in the end. This is why having one to three accountability partners is needed. You will get different views and perspectives in your situation. Everything shouldn't be one sided. Getting different views can help you form your own conclusions and strengthen areas that you are struggling in.
Your accountability partners can also help you meet not only personal goals but professional goals. I have 1 accountability partner and 1 friend that helps me concerning my professional development. One thing you must know is, you DO NOT WANT TO BE THE SMARTEST ONE IN YOUR CIRCLE. You should be able to learn from your friends and the circle of safety. You want to grow professionally, then you need to surround yourself with professional goal oriented people who actually achieved or is working on their goals. Having an accountability partner for your professional development should be a must but each one is different. Maybe that's not what you're focusing on right now. Maybe you are doing well in your business (You can always do better, can't we all). Maybe you are struggling in your relationship or marriage. If so, link up with those who are married in different stages. Have married accountability partners who are in the honeymoon stage, 5, 10, or 40 years married. They can help you in your marriage and relationship. Choose one of them to hold you and your spouse or significant other accountable. And let me say, don't count the single people out married couples. Just because people are single doesn't mean they can't give you advice about your marriage. And if you want to get Biblical... the Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament was single and had a lot of advice and a lot to say about married life.
You need accountability partners in your life. You need people with you when you go through the good and the bad. No matter who you choose, you have a right to be choosy. You have the right to be picky. No one needs to know who is in your circle of safety. This is about you and your growth. But remember that they will only hold YOU accountable. You are responsible and liable for your own actions.
