LIFE OF LEMONS... How "Sweet" it is?

                                                  

LIFE OF LEMONS

                                 


 I haven’t blogged for 2 years because this thing called “Life” happened. I can’t believe 2 years had slipped by so quickly. You know that saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. (Side note, who says you have to make lemonade, when you can make a lemon meringue pie, or other dishes you use lemons with to make it better.) Well, sometimes “Life” gives you more than lemons. Sometimes, it will throw in a lime, rotting fruits, stale water and fruit flies. Yeah, you can’t make lemonade or other dishes with those types of ingredients. That’s exactly what “Life” threw my way. No matter how much I tried to salvage what “Life” gave me, it kept getting worst and began to taste horrible. The stench at times became intolerable and seep into other areas in my life...my career, my relationship, my friendships, my health, my family and my finances. It was that one fateful day when I realized that I couldn’t make the “Life” of Lemons taste any better. The more I put into it, the worst it got. So, I took “Life” by the handle and dumped all the garage out.

                                Dumping out the crap was somewhat easy, but the stench still lingered and that’s when I learned to scourge the inside and that’s where it became painful.

                                Sometimes as adults, we have so much of unnecessary ingredients that we don’t need that we still hold onto for years. When we were younger, we couldn’t wait to grow up and live our own life. Not realizing all the lemons that we carry with us will soon rot and spoil the rest of “Life’s” ingredients. As adults, we have to learn how to purge ourselves, even when it doesn’t feel good. The cleaning is necessary. Getting rid of toxic relationships, friendships and......marriages. Oh yes, I did say marriages. I know that sounds weird coming from someone who is a Christian and who take marriage vows seriously. But toxic and draining marriages sometimes have to end. But that’s for another post.

                                Ending the friendships and relationships that has run its course is a must at times. Some can be restored and some can’t. But in order to make the best of what life throws at us, it requires us to start over. Keep some of the lemons and toss out the rotten ones. But as adults, you must know which ones to get rid of and which ones to keep. Being an adult really shows you what “Life” has in store for you and how you can handle it. In some situations, we have to learn how to deal with it. For instance, racial discrimination, death of a love one, or something less morbid, having an empty nest and learning yourself or spouse all over again or loss of a job. It can be anything. But I’ve learned that in “Life”, we are never prepared for what it throws at us but we can be ready. It takes time to get rid of a lot of toxic things that “Life” has presented to us. The renewal won’t happen overnight. Nor will it happen in a couple of months or a year. It all depends on us as a person and how much we want to really enjoy being an adult and living that life that we always imagined as a child.

                                 Here are a few steps that can help you get started. Just know that you have to really want to start over. You have to know what lemons to keep and the rotten lemons you must get rid of. Just know...that sometimes, those beautiful yellow, ripe lemons that you choose to keep, can be rotten in the inside. So pay close attention to your friends, associates and even family.

(There isn’t an particular order. Add or Omit according to your own “Life” of lemons.

1.Spirituality  

When we decide to empty ourselves. We are completely drained and feel the void. The worst thing we can do is empty ourselves of everything “Life” had given us and lose ourselves in the bottomless void. Going to church, getting revelation, seeking God, learning how to listen to our spirit and to God, is what helps many people. I know personally, that was my starting place. That was the best starting place for me. Many others who have done the same thing got clarity as well. Although it doesn’t happen in that first Sunday service or TV ministry, but it’s a starting place. Just be mindful of who ministers to you. This is where any spirit and returning spirits can fog your mind. I encourage people to read the Bible ( My favorite..The Message Version and NKJV), Read Joel Osteen, TD Jakes, Steve Furtick and John Gray.

2. Social Media Sabbatical 

This may be easy for some. And it can be extremely hard for others. We all have Twitter fingers. We want to tell everyone how we feel and voice our frustrations. But Social Media isn’t the place. Not only do you not want people who you barely know and talk to in your business, but during that time, you don’t want to become more depressed or feel lack of self-worth when you see everyone on your FB Wall or on the Gram posting about how great their lives are, engagement, wedding, anniversary and baby announcements, while you are trying to come to terms with starting completely over. Re-filling that natural clean water back into your life is what you’re working on. There is no room for tap water.

3. Talk Less

This is where you learn who are the lemons you can hold onto, the imitations and the rotten ones. Talk less, listen more, watch more. We have two ears, two eyes and one mouth. We will see people's real intentions as we become more in-tuned with our our lives and our destiny. Now, I know you may ask, "Why hold onto to some lemons, if I’m getting rid of them in the first place?" Well, some of those lemons in “Life” are necessary for our growth and maturity. We can learn from them. As time goes on, we learn how to add something sweet to those situations or people, that will enhance the situation. You can also help them become better as well.

4. Learn Yourself

This is the hard but the fun part. Learning yourself all over again. When we were younger, between the ages of 10 - 20 years old, we pictured ourselves doing things that we always wanted to try. Maybe we’ve gotten around to doing it or maybe we didn’t because of the lemons. This is where we can try things that we always wanted to try. Healthy options of course. Why, put crap back into your life that you’ve purged and still are purging out? Wanted to take kickboxing class? Go for it! That’s something I always wanted to try and I did and I love every minute of it....especially the boxing. It’s a great stress reliever. Wanted to go Skydiving but was talked out of it or gave in to your own nerves? Go for it!! Fly high! Wanted to drive across the country? Drive baby, drive! Wanted to take a drawing or painting class? Paint away! Who knows the hidden talent you have. Wanted to pursue that person you’ve felt a romantic and spiritual connection with? Connect away!!! Hey, you want to quit your job and go for the career you are most passionate about? Do it!!! Ain’t nobody holding you back but yourself. This is where you learn yourself. Your likes and dislikes. I said it will be hard too right? Well, it will be hard. With naysayers and doubters and years of un-doing your own doubts, it will be hard. But learning yourself is one of the most satisfying things you can do for yourself FIRST and your family SECOND (spouse and kids included) everyone else comes LAST.

5. Counseling 

I don’t care what anybody says. Everybody needs some sort of counseling. Be it spiritual or professional counseling. You can’t get to the root of some situations that “Life” lemons had taken a firm grip to your identity. Sometimes, there are situations that occurred in our childhood that causes us to form bad habits and/or hold onto the hurts that “Life” took us through. Letting go isn’t easy. And coming face to face with issues that is hard to release is even harder. Going to counseling, seeking a therapist or whatever you want to call it, is getting the help you need so you can fully enjoy the new “Life” and be ready to tackle any intruders that can catch you off guard along your life’s journey.

6. Be Patient 

"Patience is a virtue"..That’s something we’ve always heard growing up. Here’s another one... "Good things comes to those who wait." All of those patient phases refers to you as well, as an individual. We have to learn how to be patient with ourselves and know that we are a continuing work in progress. Even if you decide to do a career change. That can’t be forced. It takes time, possibly years of more schooling. You may have to take a huge pay cut and cut back on your excessive spending and wanna be lavish lifestyle that you want to portray to others. (Just say ouch if that’s you.) Being patient with ourselves is very difficult. We would see the person that we are and may not like what we see. But this is all part of the Lemons “Life” has given us. Understand that you can be your own lemons in your own life and in someone else’s life.

7. Have Fun 

Enjoy “Life” and all that will come. The good, bad, and the ugly. Rotten lemons and imitations will appear. But, as we grow and mature we will know how to eliminate them. Here’s another saying...Live, Love and Laugh. Bottom line...enjoy “Life”. Enjoy the lemons and the great meals and desserts that you will make with it...from scratch.

But one important thing I want you to remember is,  we can be that lemon in someone else’s life. You can be that lemon that is just as rotten to the core like the ones you have gotten rid of or maybe you mask your rotten qualities. Taking off for 2 years and eliminating all types of Lemons and garbage was preparing me for the unforeseen. I was ready. Are you?