On Monday, June 29, 2020, I left the state of New Jersey
that I've called home since I was born 39 years ago. It was bittersweet to
leave the state that I've grown to love and hate all at the same time but had
the best and fondest memories. I moved to the state of North Carolina. It was a
shocking move to some family but a realistic move to my friends who know me
better than I know my own self at times. I would tell my family who lived in
NC, that I couldn't see myself moving there because it was too slow and
boring. I would tell my friends in Jersey how great of a time I've had in NC
vacationing and can see myself moving there after my son graduate high school.
I was always on the toss-up. But a decision that set the course of my move on
November 1, 2019 caused me to set my decision in stone after a year and a half
of praying and fasting, trying to decide if moving to NC is the best move for
me.
So, here I am. Living my life in the country of North
Carolina. A state where you have the country vibe and some places that give me
a little Jersey ambiance as well. A state where you see the Confederate flags
waving in the breeze and the state and college flags dancing in the wind vying
for attention as well. The food in NC sticks to your under layers of skin that
makes it even harder to work off because of the flavor that dances on every part of
your taste buds. The friendly gestures of some hospitable southerners who like
us Yankees, saying a warm hello or a giving a gentle wave and a smile to go
along with it as I walk or drive through my quiet neighborhood. The open carry
state where everyone can have a firearm and yours truly will be amongst the
open carriers next month. The state of North Carolina is covered with beautiful
trees, farmlands, rolling hills, tobacco and cotton fields, dirt roads, and
marshlands. It is relaxing. Carolina opens her arms for you to take a moment to
breathe in fresh air, slow down, and unwind from the chaos…. that is until…you
finally live here.
JESUS!!! take the traveling, the drivers, the food (no, wait
we'll keep the food), the people (at least those I've met) , the early nightlife, the dating scene, and cost of living in North Carolina because it isn't
cheap! Seriously! Take it all Lord!
It takes me at least 25 minutes (45 minutes to almost an hour with
traffic) just to get to Raleigh. I live in the country but work in the city.
Yes, I've been asked why don't I just move to Raleigh. It's because of my
preference. I rather work in the city and live in the country. I've always said
that. Driving to and from work isn't an issue, but everything is a distance.
You must have a car in order to live here. Long gone are the NJ Transit buses
and the Path trains that will take you to your destination within minutes. Uber
only exist in Raleigh… now that’s bad. I can't even Uber to work if I wanted
to. And forget about UberEATS and Grub Hub, they only exist in Raleigh, Charlotte,
and maybe other larger "city-like" towns. They have outdoor events
because of Rona. I went to a Seafood Fest last weekend, in Raleigh. Notice the
word "Seafood". You would expect food trucks, food vendors, seafood
galore. Nope! It was a Seafood Fest without the seafood. Not one shrimp, crab,
lobster, clam or even fish in sight. They had vendors. Vendors that sold clothes,
jewelry, homemade soaps, body butters, and sages. We drove for almost 45
minutes to take part in the festivities, only to end up getting Chinese food
later. I'll take a train or ride the bus sitting next to loud mouths any day in
Jersey to get to where I'm going within minutes. Or take a quick drive within
10 minutes to get some delicious food in the upbeat heart of Rahway or Newark and
do some retail therapy at Garden State Plaza Mall or in NYC where the clothes don't
look worn or second handed.
The drivers here in NC can't drive at all. The speed limit
is 70 mph and you have drivers that speed in and out of traffic going at least
90 mph. I've been in 2 close calls since I've been here because of reckless
driving. I would take New York and Jersey drivers on the GSP and in the city
any day. You would think they give their license to just anybody here. Most
drivers have large pick up trucks or Yukons so I guess they feel they can
intimidate drivers on the road. My response to them, I lean back in my seat,
and let my car coast to a decrease speed with my hand at 12 on the wheel as I
lean with it. You're not going to intimidate me. Unless, it’s an 18- wheeler
truck driver that swerves or jump from one lane to another, going around cars
as if it were a regular size vehicle itself.
Like I said, the food here is amazing and is quite
flavorful. It's better than Jersey's food. At least the quality is. But too
much of something isn't good for you. I had to learn how to balance myself when
I got adjusted here because the food will stick to your thighs and give you more
curves than you really would want. They have Vegan spots but they're all in…
you guessed right… Raleigh and Charlotte. Not unless you look hard at the menu
at some places, I'm sure you would find something Vegan out of all the chopped
bar-b-q and pulled pork.
The people I've met
can go hand in hand with the dating scene. Being single in the south will cause
you to meet some interesting characters. Male characters who are still striving
to be a country rapper, not ambitious, or enjoy being in entanglements. I'm
still and will always be that full of life, ambitious, career-driven, intelligent, city girl and the striving rapper at
45 isn't appealing. As soon as they (the Southern men) or other southerners hear
that I'm from Jersey, I suddenly get questions about if I know this or that
person in the music industry, the sights and sounds of the city. They get
intrigued by the life in the North. But they feel life in the Tri State area
will be too much for them to handle. Which I can understand why because going
to the states that NEVER sleep from a state that night life shuts down at 11pm
in the country and 1 am in the "city-like" places can be quite
overwhelming.
Yes, you read right. Places closes here at 11pm or 1 am in
the city. I'm interested in going to Salsa Night at a Cuban restaurant in
Raleigh next week and they close at 10:30pm. 10:30!!! That's when me and my
friends are getting ready to go out to a lounge or a bar/club. I've now adapted
to going to sleep now at 10pm because what else is there to do. Which is probably
why people have SOOO many kids here. What else is there to do for entertainment
but to have sex and eat. LOL. But you can still be protected and not procreate
so much. But to each its own.
Lastly, NC isn't cheap. The houses are cheap. You can
purchase a beautiful 5-bedroom home for $250,000 -$350,000. The property tax is
about $1,200 for the year. Beautiful right?! That is until you realize you also
must pay for property tax on your car. (I'm still scratching my head on that
one.) Sales on the food in the supermarkets… nope it’s the usual sale prices
that you would see in Shop Rite. I
haven't seen a sale yet. Car insurance is the same rate for me. Although, I'm making
a little more than what I was making in Jersey, not many people that I know
personally who has also moved here from the north can say the same. They said they moved
because their spouse had a job offer here which caused them to relocate as
well. To their surprise making $65,000 a year was decreased to making $45,000 a
year. Not cool at all.
But this is the life I've chosen. This is the path that God
has placed me on that I'm still trying to figure out. It's going to be an
interesting journey and adventure here in this new state of North Carolina.
Would I move back to Jersey? I wouldn't exempt that option because I don't know
what the future may hold for me. But if given the option to move back next week
would I take it, I wouldn't. Definitely to visit but, I'll stay right here.
Life isn't as bad. It's an adjustment. And in life we all go through
adjustments. Those adjustments are called growth. And growth is what we need to
move on to become a better person. Sure, NC has its quirks, but so does Jersey
and New York. I'll always be the Jersey girl with the quick non-filter
comebacks, savage looks, competitive drive, Christian-Jesus loving, God fearing
black woman from the South Side of the Kingdom, adjusting to this new growth.
It's never a good-bye to Jersey. Jersey has been my first
love and will always be my first love. Like your first of everything, it's
something that will always be a part of you. It's never a good-bye. It's more
of a “I Got You Jersey” and for my new life its …. “what's good Carolina?”
