Stage 6: Acceptance... New Beginnings
This is the final stage. This stage brings us back to stability, where we are ready and actively involved with moving on to the next journey in our life. The person who lost a loved one is now putting their lives back together. Slowly packing away and giving away the clothes of their loved one, moving from the old place to a new place to start new memories, or rearranging each room in their home to bring forth the new change to their new reality. Each day becomes easier for them and the others who have lost their loved one. Each day their smile becomes wider and their giggles turns into laughter.
The terminally ill person probably has entered into acceptance knowing that death is inevitable. So they make preparations for their death, write or update their will, spend more them with their loved ones, as they prepare to leave this world. Both the terminally ill person and their loved ones will slowly enter the acceptance stage knowing that their heart is now ready for their love ones final goodbye.
Those who have lost their jobs will be actively looking for work or going back to school for a career change. They are ready for something new. They probably came to the realization that their old job wasn't satisfying them anyway and the lay off or them being fired was the push they needed to spread their wings. They know the frivolous spending and some household wants like cable, have to be cutback. Believe it or not, but some people go through these stages when they know they must cut the cord, IE: turn off the cable.
Those who have ended a relationship, has accepted the new life of singleness. As scary as it was, they realize that they not only accepted that the relationship is over but they accepted the new individual they have become. They begin to learn more about themselves and see faults that they need to work on. It's a possibility that, that break-up was needed for them to become a better person. No one can see it at the time, but there is growth and renewal through the pain.
Anytime there is a rebirth, there is pain. Anytime there is a push, there is discomfort. Anytime something needs to be fixed, there is a breaking. Just because acceptance has been reached, doesn't mean that the person feels great or right about what has happened or even with the decisions he or she had made. Most people will never feel okay about what they had to go through. Acceptance doesn't mean that you will forget everything and every feeling. You will always remember, but use what you've gone through as your testimony. Trust me someone will need it.
Acceptance will not have you go back into denial. You will learn each day that this is your new reality both- good and bad. You will always remember that loved one. And out of sight, doesn't mean out of mind. And if that person or your past comes to sight, take a deep breath and breathe. No one said it will be easy, no one said you will never see, speak or touch that person anything. But they will be seeing, touching and speaking to a new person, a better person, a whole person in the making.
Some signs that you're starting to heal emotionally are:
- You set boundaries and stick to them
- You respect your body
- You surround yourself with people who lift you up (Circle of Safety) (Accountability Partners)
- You don't react as strongly to things that once bothered you
- You remember that there are multiple sides to every situation
- Your sleep schedule is back to normal
- Your relationship and friendships are more fulfilling
- You allow yourself to feel all the emotions. Even the bad ones.
- You spend less time numbing yourself with substances and distractions
- You are kind to yourself
- You practice forgiveness
- You dedicate a portion of your day to your growth
- You remember that healing isn't easy and it requires a lot of work
Make no mistake about it, life has changed. Your role and responsibilities has been changed. New priorities has been formed, new or restored relationships will be formed or reformed.
In the beginning, you may have more good days than bad ones. As time goes on, after a year and some change has past, you may feel depressed at times. And it's okay. Feel it. Do not fight the feeling. Afterwards, get up and continue on. Don't fall back. Keep moving forward because you're here. You've come too far for you to give up and slack off.
Life continues. And life will be with you along the journey. Just keep pressing toward hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment